New Billionaire Tries To Develop Eccentricities

Since several shrewd investments in software start-ups pushed his net worth over the $1 billion mark last fall, Mark Stern has been attempting to cultivate eccentricities commensurate with his new wealth, the venture capitalist said Monday.
Enlarge Image New Billionaire

Stern prepares to fly his newly completed rocket to a movie premiere 100 miles away in Hollywood, via the moon.

"When you have $975 million, you're just like everyone else," said Stern, 41, from the bow of Excelsior, a 58-person canoe that he commissioned for a world-record paddle around the world. "But I'm a billionaire now. People expect me to use my money to feed my ego to the point of borderline insanity."

The often-caped Stern, previously an affable and soft-spoken man who kept a relatively low public profile aside from some philanthropic work, said his new status forced him to rethink his legacy.

"I was being referred to as 'California billionaire Mark Stern,' or simply 'billionaire Mark Stern,' and it lacked impact," the mogul said. "So I vowed not to rest until every mention of my name is prefaced with 'eccentric California billionaire.'"

Stern added: "And just to be clear, there's no way I'm settling for 'colorful California billionaire.'"

Though Stern said he is "beginning to get the hang of" billionaire life, he admitted to a few false starts while developing his bizarre idiosyncrasies, citing his easygoing, essentially rational nature as a major obstacle.

"I did try the Howard Hughes thing of stockpiling urine in jars and wearing Kleenex boxes on my feet, but it was so depressing and lonely," Stern said. "Plus, I realized that it's not eccentric to copy someone else's eccentricities."